I don't have children. Not because I don't want any, but, well, for a variety of reasons, it hasn't come to pass just yet.

In some circles, the creation of a piece of music is much like raising a child. In fact, the development of any kind of creative idea could be viewed in this way. In music making, this process most often begins as something small - a little melodic fragment, a cool harmonic shift, or a rhythm that gets stuck in one's head - the "birth." The process then continues into the development stage. The composer learns more about this little germ, what it can do, what it can't do, what agrees with it and what doesn't. At this point the idea and all of the attendant ideas begin to develop into an actual piece of music. This could be considered the "teenage years." Appropriately named, this is often the most difficult stage - the piece now dictates that you can only do certain things with it or to it before it rebels and sounds "bad." Eventually, after many weeks, months and, yes, in some cases, years, the piece is complete. When it's ready, and sometimes when its not, it will leave the nest. The composer must now let it live in the world. Sure he can come back and tweak it, discuss within himself and with others what may or may not make it better, but for the most part it is now a living, breathing "being," part of the world around it.

I was lucky enough to realize this entire process last year. In the fall of 2010, I made the conscious decision, with some prodding by my wife, to return to writing music. It's worth noting that I had written next to nothing that I considered of consequence in the previous several years, so this could turn out to be a daunting task. To make it even more challenging, I had decided to work mainly in the choral realm. Although I had a lot of experience singing in choirs, I had next-to-no experience actually writing for choirs. The only substantial choral piece that I wrote was in college and it had some serious problems. That one turned out to be more of a "drawer piece" (one of those things a composer writes and then sticks in the desk drawer.)

But I had located a text that moved me and, well, off I went.

       "The Holy Night"

        We sate among the stalls at Bethlehem;
        The dumb kine from their fodder turning them,
            Softened their horned faces
            To almost human gazes
            Toward the newly Born:
        The simple shepherds from the star-lit brooks
            Brought visionary looks,
        As yet in their astonied hearing rung
            The strange sweet angel-tongue:
        The magi of the East, in sandals worn,
            Knelt reverent, sweeping round,
            With long pale beards, their gifts upon the ground,
            The incense, myrrh, and gold
        These baby hands were impotent to hold:
        So let all earthlies and celestials wait
            Upon thy royal state.
            Sleep, sleep, my kingly One!

                - Elizabeth Barrett Browning


I formally began writing this piece in November of 2010. By the end of February 2011, much of the piece was completed and I began to think about how I would be able to hear what it actually sounded like. (In my opinion, playing choral music on a keyboard with no voices is much like driving around a NASCAR track in a station wagon.) I decided to contact my previous choral director, Dr. Gerald Gray, and inquire about getting (at least) a read-through. That spring, he was gracious enough to do so as part of the composition studio's College Choir Reading Sessions. AND, after some conversation following the read-through, he agreed to (officially) perform it on their concert the following fall. So here it is - performed by the Fredonia College Choir under the direction of Dr. Gerald Gray.


"The Holy Night" - Jason S. Lamb




Future projects have presented themselves as a result of this venture: a piece for one of the non-curricular vocal ensembles at SUNY Fredonia; an invitation to write for one of the local high school choruses; an ongoing relationship with a well-respected conductor in the area. In fact one of these projects is currently in that disagreeable "teenager" stage. But like a good parent should, I won't give up on it. I'll keep working with it, and eventually, like it or not, it will leave the nest.

Teaching Passion

Passion: a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything

Over the past few summers, I have had the opportunity to work with several high school- and college-age students. Although the work itself has not been the most beneficial to my wallet, it was enjoyable, somewhat relaxing, and gave me the opportunity to observe the social life of the modern American teenager.

Now I feel a lot older than I should. . .

One of my coworkers in particular really gave me pause. As far as I can tell she is somewhere between 18 and 20 years old. She attends a college that is very well-known for its party scene. And on more than one occasion, she came in to work either hungover from a night of heavy partying or still somewhat inebriated.

She was very open about her adventures, at times providing lurid details. Lurid only because I hardly knew this girl - as a coworker, I shouldn't be hearing this stuff! I think that most of us can claim that we have done some things in our own lives that can be described as "questionable behavior," but this girl seemed to have no qualms about anything!

She didn't seem to have much else going on her life either. Most conversations revolved around stories about these adventures. I never once heard her talk about other things that she was doing in school, what she was studying, interests that she had. . . it was all about the partying.

One conversation that I had with her clarified a lot about her life. What follows is an approximation of that conversation. For the sake of privacy we will call our party girl "Roberta" and another girl who is referred to in the conversation will be named "Wilma."

"Roberta": So why does "Wilma" need the whole weekend off?

Me: Because her brother is getting married.

"Roberta": Woo-hoo! Guess she'll be getting all loaded up then!

Me: Actually, no. She's my age and I know that that is not how she works. She actually told me the other day that the last time she went out to dinner with her husband, she had one glass of wine and was ready for bed.

"Roberta": What!? Man, anytime I go to wedding, I get totally blitzed!

Me: Well, when you get a little older, that starts to lose its luster. You'll get there some day.

"Roberta": Doubt it. My dad's in his fifties and he still parties like he's in his 20s. Just the other night he called from [one of the local bars] to ask me to come pick him up. I could hardly understand what he was saying. It was soooo funny!


As we all know, the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.


After that conversation, I was at first angry. I have always felt that it is the "job", among others, of parents to be role models for their children. How can a parent lead that kind of example for their child!? Over the course of a couple of days, that anger morphed into sorrow. I'm all for getting the most out of life, but that includes being sober enough to make the most out of the days when you are permitted to decide what you want to do. Too bad that it seems she will be spending many of her days nursing a hangover.

So what can I do about this? Well, her situation is a lost cause to me. I don't believe I'll ever see her again, nor do I think that any amount of talking to her about this would have made a difference. What did she miss along the line that did not seem to elude my other co-workers?


At the time that this conversation occurred, I had been working on some job application stuff, not the least of which was that dreaded "Candidate's Statement." This short, All-About-Me type of blurb has turned out to be some of the most difficult 200 words I have ever written.

Why do I want to teach?

I considered my coworker's situation. I had run across kids like this before - how could I effect their outcome were I given the chance? As with most things, I pondered this for several days and as the reasons slowly solidified in mind.

I want to be a role model for those students who might not have one to look up to.

I want to inspire.

I want to teach not only about my subject matter, music, but also about life.

I want to teach my students to be passionate.


I feel that what this girl missed at some point was someone in her life to say, "Hey it's great that you're interested in [insert subject matter here.] Have you considered it as a course of study or as a possible career path?" - someone tell her how important it is to find something that you enjoy doing and make that a major part of your life and how important it is to be a productive member of society. There is no guarantee that you will land a job that you will love going to every day, that will pay you what you want (much less pay you what you need!), that will be what you went to school for, that will include co-workers that are easy to work with, and on and on. . .

I am by no means a career counselor but over the past couple years I have talked to a lot of people about career paths, job searches and the like. I have worn several different hats in my life. I do know that it takes lot of work to find that "perfect" job, something which I am still working on.

I also know what happens when, for whatever reason, you lose track of that which you are passionate about.

I spent several years working in a local hotel. I took the job because I needed something to live on. I worked, was promoted a couple times, received raises and became someone that was relied on to handle a myriad of situations and learned an immense amount from working there. BUT - in the time that I was there, I did very little of what I was, and am, truly passionate about. That, of course, being music. I am now slowly rediscovering this passion and, suffice to say, it has been a very revealing experience.

I feel that part of responsibility as educators is not simply to impart knowledge of a given subject. It is not only to teach respect. It is not just to help students "make it through." Sure, we need to know as much as we can about the subject that we teach. But it is equally important to have a breadth of knowledge to engage students in conversation about what they are passionate about. Encourage them to use that passion to be a productive member of society. Who knows? They might be happier in the end.

And, in some way, they might thank you for it.

You Can Learn A Lot From A Dog

In July of this year, my wife and I adopted puppy from one of the local pet adoption agencies. At the time, it had been something that we had planned on doing since we got married, but for a variety of reasons never pulled the trigger on. Sammie was four months old when we adopted him, and I can truly say that he has changed our lives for the better. We found ourselves getting into a more consistent routine because of him. And I for one need routine!

We have both had a lot of experience with dogs in our lives. My family had a dog from the time I was in elementary school and my wife's family had a dog ever since she could remember. BUT, there were some things in each case which we would change were we given the chance. Like chewing on furniture, scratching at doors when the need arises to go out, eating clothing, etc. As I joked with my brother, "One well-trained, well-behaved dog is all I'm looking for!"

As with most things that my wife and I have learned to do in the last few years, we researched a lot of dog training "stuff." The adoption agency got us started by providing us with some materials regarding housebreaking, feeding, crate-training, etc. And, strange as it may seem, we started watching "The Dog Whisperer" whenever we could catch it. (By the way, if you want to learn about dog behavior, START HERE!) We bought books on training your dog to do tricks and a big and very thorough book from the ASPCA on the basics of dog ownership. And the learning continues. . .

It seems to me that much of dog training can be boiled down into a few "guidelines." This is by no means an exhaustive list, but more of a list of a few pointers that have certainly set us on the right road.

Consistency

This seems to have been, by far, the most important component in training Sammie. We try to follow a fairly rigorous daily routine of get up, go potty, eat, rest, play/exercise, rest, repeat(!) And, with the exception of resting during the day, each of those individual items involve consistency as well. When he goes out to use the bathroom, it is for that reason only. We really try to limit the wandering around. When eating, he sits before he is fed and doesn't jump around like a nut. (Luckily, he was already doing this when we adopted him.) Suffice it to say, EVERYTHING we do has a purpose, and it is ALWAYS the same. Going for a walk is always done with the purpose of exercising, not wandering aimlessly and smelling everything that strikes his fancy. Of course between my wife and I, there are some differences, and we are still ironing out some of those differences. But the goal is to have the exactly the same procedure each time so that he knows exactly what is expected of him.

Clarity/Directness

Every time we give Sammie a command, it is in the same tone of voice - it is one word - it is often accompanied by a hand gesture. When it works, EVERYONE is happy - people and doggie. He is learning quickly that obeying these commands is how he gets what he is looking for, be it food, getting ready to walk or playing catch. And of course, clarity and consistency go hand-in-hand.

Discipline

This seems to be something many people are every willing to hand out regarding almost any little problem that arises with their dog. In the four months that we have had Sammie, I don't think we have ever disciplined him for doing something that we didn't want him to. Granted, he isn't one of those dogs who chews on random pieces of clothing, furniture, a random object left on the floor. On the odd chance that he does something "out-of-bounds" all we do is give quick, stern "no" with eye contact and go about our business. Sometimes, if he isn't paying attention, we poke him on the side of the neck to "wake him up". On the whole, we have found that fear is generally a bad motivator for dogs. Not to mention the fact that, over time, it breeds mistrust.

Praise

Of course, everybody likes to be to be praised. With Sammie, we try to use it somewhat sparingly, reserving it for tasks/tricks that have recently been learned. At first, it is admittedly over the top - lots of "Good boy!" in that motherese voice, petting, hugging, maybe a treat if that's part of the deal. But as those tasks become more automatic, the praise settles into a simple pat on the head. Praise, we have found, is vitally important, but should be used judiciously.


As I recently drove home from yet another teaching interview, I began to think long and hard about my previous teaching position as a long-term substitute. Nothing like a drive down US-20 to clear the head! Although I was praised for for my knowledge of the subject, abilities, professionalism, and the like, I distinctly remember the principal saying to me, after I left, "I will certainly give you a positive recommendation, but if they ask about any reservations that I would have, I would have to tell them that you need to work on your classroom management."

hmmmmm. . . . . . .

Time for something that I know I can do well - reflection!

I began to think about all of those classroom management lessons in my education classes. How are you going to handle discipline? What kind of policies will you set as "rules" in your classroom? What kinds of procedures will you use to run your classes smoothly and efficiently?

And on . . . and on . . .

Now what was I doing wrong?

Everything! Regardless of the reasons, only some of which may be valid, I had a scant amount of procedure, I wasn't very consistent, I didn't always stick to rules that I may or may not have instituted, I wasn't always clear in my directions. . .

Needless to say, I could have done a lot better! Back to the drawing board. . .

Consistency of procedures. Clarity of direction. Discipline. Praise.

Thanks, Sammie. You have no idea how much you're helping me!

Rediscovery: Balance

I took a long hiatus from writing. Not because I wanted to or needed to - it just seemed to happen. The last thing I wrote was a song for my wedding, which I was only moderately pleased with. So, with pencil and paper and a project that I have been meaning to work on for a while, I recently restarted the journey I began as a child. Strangely, and somewhat poetically, because I need to and want to.

To work! I have begun with a choral piece on text by William Blake. I originally attempted to use this text to write an a cappella choral piece back when I was still in school - oh, about 10 years ago! That incarnation made it all the way to printed-score with some edits still needing to be made. So what was wrong with that piece? Why was the text still haunting me? I pulled it out from the file that keeps all of the "children" (completed pieces, sketches, snippets, et al) and played through it. . .

WOW!

THIS SUCKS!

OK - maybe an overstatement. But I can now see why my composition teacher had reservations about it. Although it has some nice moments, it wanders like a lost child. It was also WAAAAY to overwritten - it needed to be simplified. It was, at most times, 4 (or more!) lines that were too similar to distinguish from on another. And the balance/relationship between the text and the music didn't seem to make sense. And. . . . . and. . . . . .and. . . . . . . . . . . .

And. . . . . . . . . . .

Well, I can do MUCH better than this!

So I am beginning to rewrite. I originally planned a light revision, basically taking the vocal lines and spreading them out and adding some piano. I'm now several days into it, and it's fixing to be a much more extensive overhaul. I completed a few days ago and, after I took a little time away from the project, I jumped back in and played through it, ironing out some of the "wrinkly" parts. But I found once again (to my astonishment) that I picked up right where I left off five years ago - I have started to include things that complicate the piece, not accentuate it!

Ugh. . . . . . . will I ever learn?

So I continue the process of rediscovery through rewriting this piece, taking things out more than putting things in. And push forward slowly, being very careful not to overdo it, using the process I learned many years ago.

In music, as in life, balance cannot be ignored. Explore as many options as present themselves. But in the end, only choose what is absolutely necessary. There is no need to include things that only serve to complicate "the piece."

Wheels within wheels in a spiral array
A pattern so grand and complex
Time after time we lose sight of the way
Our causes can't see their effects

from "Natural Science, 1. Tide Pools", Rush